dreaming out loud. . .

Monday, February 28, 2005

TO BENJI*

PLEASE DUN DISTURB ME.
PLEASE SIT AWAY FROM ME.
IM TRYNA DO MY PROJECT.
GO AWAY.
SHOO.

SHOO.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

I SUCK*

this is esp true when it comes to a real life game of pool.
i was like THE dream opponent of any pool player.
cos i give ppl free ball.
haa~

tho i did manage to shoot some in.
n won a game.
well ok maybe it wasnt counted as i won the game.
cos mus did the honours for me.
she shot mine in.
hahaha wah thx ah mus !
believe in u man~ =p
she won the 2nd game.
by luck.
hahahaha.
takmo exaggerate ah eh.
=p

shefa / huda / noreen so terror.
anisah's always with her,
"kasi aku chan ah." *puts ball back in place*
"lagi satu chan ah eh" *puts ball back in place. again*
"last last chan" *puts ball back in place. again. n again*
hahaha.

nad didnt join in.. sebok sms dier nyer ehem ehem-to-be.. hehe
lut had to finish up her drawing..
joined us at the end of the game.
n contracted mus's "illness" of not shooting any ball at all.
not even the cue ball.
hahaha soo cute.

after that.
went kfc to eat.
then talked awhile with lut.
before heading home.

ok thats it.
need some sleep.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

The Matter of Voice*

*phone rings*
me: (picks up phone)
kid: hello amma ?
me: err. hello ?
kid: ooh.. hello appa ?

i feel offended.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Hmmmmms*

question:

"don't i matter ?"

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Guilty*

am i drifting away frm my bff ?
reading mus's entry.. terase guey.

but jz to let them know..
im never tired of them.
n nvr will be.

there are no other replacements.
n nvr will be.

tho maybe i've been hanging out with other frens.
i still miss them.
loads.

so im sorry for not making any iniatives or whatsoever.

i still love u guys.

Monday, February 14, 2005

The Best Medicine*

hahahahahaha.
had a project interview jz now.
hahahahahaha.
was rehearsing like hell, kinda.
hahahahahaha.
then when the time comes, n mr koh asked me..
hahahahahaha.
i blacked out.
hahahahahaha !
gosh, thats so freaking funny.
i have no freaking idea what i said the whole freaking time.
i babbled on n on.
abt nothing.
i think.
but thank gawd, i gave a freaking pure-luck answer for one freaking bonus qn.

mr koh: what is encephalopathy ?
me: (shoooooooots.. i did this part n i didnt think he'd ask this) errrmm "encephalo" - brain, "pathy" - pathogenic ? diseased ? (this is the finalised versh of the ans. before that, i was babbling abt only God knows what. haaa~)

the only ans im proud of throughout the freaking interview.
haaa~
im doomed.

anws anws. got a SUPER KEDUPER overdue bday prezzy frm Samurai.
the ever-so-cute Winnie the Pooh ! haha~
thx zaid !
know what ? he didnt even remove the price tag ! hahahaha.
MEN !
hahaha.
ok wait, before he even gave me, he told me how much it was.
$10. boleh bilang eh ?
stylo nyer budak.
nonetheless.. maceh~
lut got a cute bear.. but she wasnt satisfied.
pity zaid have to buy for her Pooh. hahahah.

after that, met up with my BFF jz now.
to xhcange prezzies~
aaawhhh so sweet.
no, not for Valentine's..
jz a random Exchange Gifts day..
which happens to be Valentine's Day.
haha.
wooooooo~
thx rad for the blue felawer !
n of course, dear lutty for the blue rose i've always wanted ! n the gorgeous slippers !
not to mention amri.. who promised to buy me a blue rose for my past bday.
but forgot. -_-" hhehehe. THX YA !

BLUE ! MY FAV~
took a pic of the felawers i got.. but its with nisha.
bcos apparently, i havent got back my cable.
n i always forget to ask for it back.
serves me right.

okok gonna go for MSN rehab soon.
i need to get my study groove back.
now.. if only i can find it..

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Will you be my Valentines ?

i dun get it.
Valentine's Day is so freaking redundant.
im not saying this bcos im single.
im saying this because.. it's not a Love Each Other day.
not technically.
it's a day to commemorate the death of St Valentine's for gawd's sake.
this priest frm somewhere which i forgot. n dun really care anws.
somebody died n they're making a hell of a celebration out of it.

as i said.
totally redundant.

the westerners got it all wrong.
n others follow.
monkey see, monkey sure do.

excuse me, im in a crappy mood.
projects are never-ending n im forever stuck.
im treading water. n im gonna drown soon.

plus i havent been studying in like weeks.
that is like.. long.

sighs~

supercalifragilisticspledoshes.
im bored.
freakingly bored.
i think what i lack is..
hmmms.
money ?
yea. but thats not the point.
hmmms.
sleep. definitely.

oh yes.
did i mention that im like one of the unlucky few in practically the whole wide world who hasnt watch CONSTANTINE ?
but thats okie.
keanu can wait.

ustaz i-dunno-his-name-n-never-will-know-his-name wasnt at ugame jz now.
cos ustaz hazman came.
hahahahaha.
*smacks self again*

oh before i forget.
its Bashey's birthday todaaaaaay !
Happy 18th dude !
jgn step tak nak present tu eh. aku debik kang.
hahaha.
May God bless ur years ahead~

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Khayalan*

Awal ku melihat
Kuyakin ini bukanlah yg biasa
Mengagumkan
Melemahkan aku
Melihat tatap matanya

Garis tawanya
Waktu berhenti
Apabila ku memandangnya
Mengagumkan
Melemahkan aku
Melihat tatap matanya

*Khayalan ini
Setinggi tingginya
Seindah indahnya
Tempatku memikirkannya

Bila kudapat
Kusimpan wajahnya
Memegang indahnya
Atau memilikinya

Yang ku nanti
Saat memegang tangannya
Sampai nanti
Tetap memegang tangannya

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Lala~*

CSI should be on now..
BUT since it's CNY's eve.. they have, if im not wrong.. Rat Race on instead.
who the heck prefers Rat Race to CSI siaaa.
sighs~

oh well.
anws.. didnt have any classes today since there's no PC and that there's no PLM tutorial for this week.. but had to come to sch to do what else but projects.
sighs~

supposed to meet fizo and apiz at the PC lab by 9.30 BUT.. hehehehehe. woke up a wee bit late.
heh. so bla bla bla reached sch at ard.. um 10.30 ? i think..
by that time, fidz had to go off n meet faizah..
but not before giving some work to do for my PA1 report.
the only project which i have no freeeeeeeeaking idea what it's all abt.
well, i do know.. but dun really care. heheh. i dun like PA laaaar.
so.. basically typed practically everything from the book..
could have completed sooner but SOME1 talk talk talk.. then nvr do his project.
wah liaoz =p
okok fine, im at fault oso laaa. i think i started the conversation.. hehe..
errr sorry ye apiz ! sape suro kau layan aku.. kan project tak abes ! haha..

then then i managed to complete PA but NOT PLM..
actually, i've finished my part for PLM.. but right.. SOMEBODY go n tell me its wrong..
then i have to REDO again.......................
gee apiz. thx soooo much !
hahaha.
okok i guess it's better to redo than get zero.
ok FINE. thx laaa. (not a sarcastic thx).

ok so after um like.. 3hrs in the lab (i think).. apiz wanted to eat.. n coincidentally, the lab is closing down..
so shian nyer pasal, accompanied apiz to breadboard to eat..
but i dowan to eat. but was forced to eat. -_-"

after that, went praying with lut before meeting up with mus, shefa and noreen.
headed off to tamp where we're supposed to meet z.
went to GV 1st to check out the 2.50pm CONSTANTINE show but.. FULL HOUSE.
so saaaaaaaaad~
so figured that we should check out CS instead.
the 4.15pm show was available but z couldnt make it cos she needed to visit her aunt at the hospital..
even more saaaaaaaaaad~
shefa went off to her reunion dinner while mus lut z and me went to the nearby blocks.

sat ard n talked..
while accompanying z till 5.30 cos thats when she have to head off..
then went to bedok intch soon after z found out that she need not go to the hospital. -_-"
could have watched CONSTANTINE tau z !
sighs~ there goes my keanu~~~
hehe..

went 7-11.. bought some stuffs before sitting at our "hotspot" for 10mins.
then z n mus headed home..
while lut n me went to Ansar for asar.
waited for magrib as well.
then somebody eshen to me that he watched CONSTANTINE redy.
whoooooooo carrrrrrrreeeeeees ? =p
i WILL watch another day ok. haha

then, didnt feel like going home cos it was only 7++
so sat somewhere near opp LJS bustop n chit chat..
we were like having a picnic siaaa.
with food, drinks n all. hahah.
talked abt some stuffs that we need to talk abt..
until ard 9..
saw the Orion's belt again.
COOLNESS ! if only i can take a picture of that.

then headed home..
n so here i am..

still thinking abt the ustaz tho.
hahahahahaha. *smacks self*

i need to get a freaking life.
other than mine.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Knocked Silly*

sigh sigh sigh~
i've fallen again..
for someone i jz met and definitely wont get.

sigh sigh sigh~
i need to get up.
fast.

imagine ur me.
ur so freaking bad in ur arabic.
then whenever u read the Quran or any surah..
u wonder about the meaning..
what each of the jumlah (sentences) mean..

so yea i take arabic classes in perdaus.
BUT. the ustaz (s) there teach u as if ur a pro.
e.g. Ustaz Hazman.. who comes in suddenly n speaks arabic throughout.
n i was like.. errrr. ok.
(im speaking on behalf of the class)

then today, came to sch..
dreading his class cos its confermed that we wont get anything out of it.
well. maybe jz a lil bit.
so, the door opens.. n a young man stepped in.
we were like, "aik? sesat kepe ?"..
cos he sure looked like one of the students there..
then he went like, "assalammualaikum.. nari ustaz hazman tak dpt datang.. so saye (we were like, pls say ur name.. pls say ur name) take over ah. for today only.."
he didnt say his name. -_-"

then he started teaching us.
he was kinda worried n kept asking..
"korang faham ke tak ni ?"
"faham ?"
"nak suroh repeat ?"

n he taught us very slowly..
a very good tcher..

sigh sigh sigh~
he's not gorgeous. nope he's not.
he's umm.. tall.. charming.. sweet.. nice.. funny..
n the big plus is: he takes care of his religion.. a pious individual..

all i ever wanted ?

i was definitely knocked silly..

Friday, February 04, 2005

Facing the Inevitable.. Expecting the Expected

i was surprisingly non-chalant abt everything.
esp when we all know whats gonna happen nx.

"there's not much we can do. we'll jz have to wait", one of the nurses said.
n thats when my heart stops for a lil while.

walking thru the hospital hall, saw the im-ok-but-im-actually-not faces leaning against the wall.
waiting.
jz waiting.

as soon as i stepped into the ward, took out my mini-Quran.
n started reading the Yassin.
1/3 thru, i looked up to see Busu (my uncle on my mum's side) jz watching him.
n several other uncles..
jz standing there.. n watch..

seeing the condition he was in, i grew hot in the face.
tears starts streaming down my cheeks.
n i choked on the words of the surah.

after all that, left the ward.. n started crying..
i couldnt take it.
tho he wasnt my close nor fav uncle,
jz being there.. watching helplessly, depressed me.

smoking was one of the factors.
exactly one of the reasons why i dislike the habit of smoking.
but who am i to say anything ?

wasnt able to see him one last time cos i was in sch.
but at least i saw him yesterday.

innalillah wa innalillahiraji'un.
may Allah s.w.t bless his soul.
n may he be protected.