dreaming out loud. . .

Saturday, January 31, 2004

I've found the reason for meeeee~ to change who i used to beeee~
elo~
last entry for mth january.. hee.. tml hari rayer!! yay! i thought we are going to my granma's house tml like every yr. but this yr, tak gi sey.. :( because she wanna go see the korbanan of the kambings with my uncle.. anyhoo, just now went to sch arh. got this course briefing thingy. haiyo i seriously dont have any clue which course i'm choosing! its either biotech or biomed. under biotech, there's veterinary science! i likeeeee~ but i only get to choose that when i get to yr 3. ish boring. then under biomed, there's pharma science. quite appealing since we'll be deaing with medicine n other pharma crap. would be cool to be able to prescribe sth to someone.. esp u guys! *evil laughter*.. hee kidding lar. haizz.. i dont know what to choose! i mean, it has been my ALL-TIME dream to take care of animals. but under veterinary science, we'll be dissecting animals..mainly mice! *gasps* NOOOOO! ish sedih sey. i mean, opening up that poor lil thing. i dont think i can go through that. ok, i'm in a dilemma. maybe next wk i'll go for acad advising ..which is on a saturday. haiz. jgn aku gi skali the only advice they can give is, "follow ur heart" ehh... kene dorg..
n just now, i watched POWER RANGERS! hahahahha.. yah yah laugh ur butt off but really.. my lil sis bought this power rangers in space vcd. n i watched it. i mean.. i was ROOTED to my seat! ahahaha.. cant believe it. how LAME can i possibly get?! but anyhow, the show was great ar. this one is not the kimberly-tommy nyer tau. this one.. got andros. wooo~ i missed him! hehe.. ok aper fizah membebel niiiii!

Friday, January 30, 2004

shuddup, just shuddup... SHUDDUP..
arghhh.. today is an awful, awful day! really.. haiz..

during biochem tutorial.. i felt like strangling shaz seyy!! eeeeeeeee geram nyer dgn laki tuhhhhh! he was being such a pain the butt sey. ape nyer nasib, when we were in the same grp for tut discussion. then, whatever i explained, he looked annoyed and stuff like that. as if he's mr i-know-it-all-so-listen-to-me-and-not-fizah. urghhhh.. binget sey. should have kicked him when i had the chance. hee.. kk i'm not that bad lar.. u should come face to face with him. it would be a miracle if he left unhurt. but sometimes he's nice ar.. like.. uber nice.. then at times, down right irritating.. snapping at people here and there. pms? ahaha.. chee chew was like puzzled at the way we get along. we are always at each other's throats. then, can still get along. ah. dont ask me. whatever it is, he's just plain irritating. ahh the heck with guys.
anyhoo, trying to finish up my csas assignment but ended up chatting instead. n tml got course briefing! at 11 till 1 lak tuh.. ishhh.. malasnyerrrr... oh well.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

guys = pea-minded, selfish, insensitive jerks..
i dunno why i even care..
or was i just expecting too much? urgh.. not loggin on to msn for the next few days.. i'm just not in the mood to chat..

"...too afraid to let my heart go to waste"

Monday, January 26, 2004

say it, the world has gone crazy
or rather i am ..
arghh 1stly, the sch studdenly wants to ruin my life n others by cutting short the 1st half of the 2nd sem.. 2 more wks n its term test wk.. which i am SO NOT prepared for..furthermore NO term break.. ! wassup with that?! n the lecturers start flooding my mind with all those info that i simply cant handle! 2ndly, aisha my lil sis starts hogging the pc, playing ppg games.. for 3 full friggin hrs!! n she was like "nak mainnn! tak nak stop!!".. damn i shouldnt have introduced her to cartoonnetwork.com. 3rdly, this uber cute guy suddenly wana take a pic with me (which is like BEYOND my WILDEST imaginations!).. n he doesnt even know me! i mean yea he knows me as fizah n chatted for like.. only 5 times.. n he never even bothered to ask .. like.. about my life.. he only fills me in on himself.. like.. what's my 1st impression of him n yada yada YADAAA.. n yea he does ask a thing or two.. but i feel like i cant open up to him that much.. i dunno since that incident.. i dunno if i can trust him.. like.. does he have a hidden agenda? playing me or sth.. arghhh i'm going crazyyy i cant focus! i cant concentrate.. tests are coming.. oh my gawd ..I'M GOING OUTTA MY MINDDDDDDDD!!

Sunday, January 25, 2004

haizz.. my head is now in a blur.. have to study biochem which is sooooo damn difficult to remember.. then yesterday sth happened that makes me feell.. skeptical.. argghhh.. i should be happy.. or sth like that.. but i'm not! i dunno what i'm feeling sia.. what the fish sey.. all of a sudden.. like.. VERY sudden.. i mean, what .. is that a joke? is he for real? mann.. arghhhhh.. ape ni? i need answers! haiz.. so confused... but it will be over soon.. dunno if i can go thru it without even understanding the reason behind it.. yes, history is repeating itself.. except i'm in someone else's shoes..

Monday, January 19, 2004

elo again~ guess what? i woke up at 12.. ahahah.. woo~ sch for me starts at 6pm - 7pm.. i'm thinkin of not goin cos it's only UIR lecture.. but they take attendance arrhh.. haiz.. spoiler of the century!
kk gonna tell everythin that happened these past few days.. not that they are that significant.. just wanna get wanna blog it in..
anyhoo, last friday.. went out with my frens n watched CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN.. woo~ what a great movie.. ahaha so damn funny.. act zack was supposed to be goin with us but she got what werkshop.. which she enjoyed btw.. so... we went w/o her (sorry zack, i know how much u wanna see the show)..
the show, as i said, was great.. funny n got TOM WELLING.. so, it's sooo worth our 8.50.. but i really like the kid, JAKE.. haizzz... soo cute.. like my PAUL MARAZZI..younger versh that is.. *sighs dreamily*..ok stop..
then, when we're walking at the tamp intch.. we were about to walk past this freakishly familiar guy.. i glanced ar.. then it was.. jeng jeng jeng.. GREY CAP... wah lao.. da lamer sey menghilang.. tiber2 menjelma... ahahaha.. then cepat2 blg mus.. then mus tgk arh.. betul2 biler tgh jln past dier.. n it was him.. cey power fizah.. ehem .. anw.. wanted to go home early.. but ended up "hanging ard" for a lil while.. just to look at him.. say it.. PATHETIC.. ala.. but cant blame us.. we kinda missed him.. ahahaha..
k.. that day, over.. over just like that.. should have stayed longer..
anyhoo, yesterday went to ugamer for the 1st time in this yr.. (last wk i skipped. hee).. then found out i got one of the best tchers in the ugamer! ust azman! weeee~ ahaha.. he's so damn funny.. the whole 45 mins he was teaching us, we couldnt stop laughing.. saket perot sey.. esp the part where he demonstrated a person praying while a cockroach appears.. mann.. ahahahah.. kk the rest of the ust/ustazah.. like.. abit boring arh.. but i managed to stay alive..
after ugamer, met lut to queue for the books.. skali jual kul 2.. so went to 7/11 with lut n her fren.. bought some snacks.. n i went to lut's home.. there we watched LIZZIE MAGUIRE THE MOVIE! kk.. call me lame, but i kinda like her.. ahaha.. ssshhhh a closet lizzie fan.. anyhow, the show was great! hee i like GORDO sia.. so cute.. like lut's bro said, a hobbit! ahaha.. kk at 2, met nad at ugamer.. then da queue2 utk buku kan, the ones i wanted were out of stock.. haiz.. so then, nad n lut tak nak balek siang.. so went to bawah block zack to call her arh.. suro dier turon.. skali she's sleeping.. ape da zack.. sat somewhere n ate nad's rock choc.. wahh sedap.. maybe i'm ordering one nad! hee.. after that, went to lut's house again to pray.. then sik lut bukak peter pan lak.. n she knew i wanna watch in the theatres! so.. apa lagik.. lari masok dlm arh.. ahaha.. lut mati-matian sey suro org tgk.. dowannnnn! hee..
eh today i can watch DAYS OF OUR LIVES! yay! kk wanna bathe.. cauz~

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

arghh.. i'm sickk.. yahh 2 days in a row.. n i didnt go to sch today.. the good thing is, i missed only lectures n often they dont take attendance so i may not give them an m/c altho i have one here.. the bad thing is.. lectures? why in the blue hell would i wanna miss any lectures? they are like ..one of the most vital things in sch nowadays!.. haiz.. so i msged yas n ask her whether i missed alot, n yes, i did.. i hope yas wouldnt mind tutoring me on whatever crap that i missed..
yesterday was like going thru hell sia.. ok.. bad analogy.. la.. u know what i mean.. ntah cam ner after break (ard 12+) i suddenly felt giddy.. n my temp rose a lil bit.. thought of going home but i didnt cos i didnt want to miss java lab like last wk.. which i ACCIDENTALLY missed.. so, went thru 6 hrs of torture..a&p tut (dr ng.. DRAAAGGGGG), java lab, java tut n java lect (all held by the same teacher... )
it was obvious that i coulnt take it anymore ar cos ppl kept asking.."are u ok?".. so, i said ok arh.. not to worry anyone.. (as if they are..) then, when it was finally over..i blew a huge sigh of relief.. thank gawd i made it.. heh.
anyhoo, guess what? hafeez is in the same java tut as me.. ahahahah.. he told my sis about this ar n he said he wanted to tegur me but he's too shy.. n takot.. ahahah.. ish ish.. once a loner, ALWAYS a loner..
k arh, i think i wanna go get some rest.. the headache still havent subside.. buh bye~

Saturday, January 10, 2004

what i think of:
UIR
umm.. overall n ok subject.. no tutorials for this n best of all NO EXAMS~ weee~. thought this sub is worst than java, well.. it kinda got reversed..
lecturer, rohayah.. um, not bad.. only pronounces "T" in words which doesnt end with that letter.. nice person, smiles alot.. only her lectures can get kinda boring at times.. UIR lab is the best~ although i'm in the same lab as these grp of i-dont-smile-at-ppl-other-than-my-frens girls.. (suhaila n co.), lab teacher, ms goh if i'm not wrong.. very nice.. very friendly.. watches LOTR but doesnt know what the heck is Middle Earth *shakes head*.. got a new friend Hui Chee, if that's how u spell it.. yr 2 of AFS (applied food science).. likes LOTR too~ wee~ but i think because of lego arh.. hee.. did some research on topic called movies n of course.. we searched on LOTR's forums n discussion boards.. all in all.. subject which we can enjoy n relax..
JAVA
ok this sub totally bores the hell outta me.. not really that difficult since i'm only in the 1st topic.. what's more.. there's an exam of 40%.. n term test! dammmiiittt.. teacher ms lee.. ok arh.. nice but likes to rush thru things as though tml is the actual exams.. which i clearly dread.. java lectures/tutorials = boring.. lab = ok since we do hands-on activities..
feel like dropping the latter sub cos i dont think i can manage.. but it's 5 cus.. i cant drop.. well i can but it would be a waste.. oh well, just have to live with it..

argh have a lot of probs these days
money (heh.. got arh but not enough to buy some of my own stuffs), studies (java, anatomy, biochem n maths..) n guys (dont even let me go there..)

Monday, January 05, 2004

1st day of sch is kinda of ok for me.. wasnt as horrible as i thought it would be..
well, every monday sch starts at 1 for me.. wee~ ahhaa.. but the con is, i go home at 7.. cos of that dumb cds, UIR.. mann.. soo dumb sia. i thought it was kinda easy but it was more difficult than i thought.. have to know all those internet terms which hell, i dont know..like all the basics ar.. thank gawd, its a non-examination subject.. so can slack ar.. i think..
anw, went to csas today at 1-3.. n found out the horrible truth behind the subject.. we have to be trained to speak in front of public.. well, yea its a good thing.. future-wise.. but i cant speak! well, in front of everybody in the LT that is! well, if its in front of my class.. i can take it ar.... at least i wont be as nervous.. but.. in front of most lecturers n my fellow sch mates? no friggin way! haiz..
then during UIR lesson.. i was trying very hard to concentrate ar.. u know me, always taking down notes altho i know them already. just had to continue writing or else, i will def go to sleep.. there n then.. heh..

Saturday, January 03, 2004

weee~ my 1st ever template.. of elijah wood! yah, so what if the layout sucks? it's mine.. MY OWN.. my precioussss..
anw.. a new yr, a new sem..
and yes, school.. with a timetable that totally sucks ..can life get any worst than this?
so, have to start right back frm square one.. making new frens (thank gawd i'm in the same class as yas..), facing new subjects.. which i doubt that i can manage.. subs like.. anatomy & physiology (sounds interesting..), biochem (said to be one of the biggest causes of failure..), prog in java.. (i likeeee! but yas's bro took it n he said it was bloody challenging..), UIR (finally got what it meant.. Using Internet as Research tool.. haiz.. n to think that i chose it as my 3rd choice?!), CSAS 2... (a sub that totally bores the hell outta me) n some others which i cant/dont bother to remember..
so.. 2003 was an ok yr for me.. during the 1st few mths, stayed at home, hung out with dear frens while waiting O results..
then got enrolled in tp, met good frens like yas, shema.. n some others.. had some tough times in sch.. battling tutors, lecturers.. like in a war or sth.. had my term test.. n passed.. alhamdulillah.. seriously thought i'd have to take supp papers.. then, hung out with my buddies even more, celebrating birthdays, shoppin n what have u..
soo.. not so bad of a yr for me. everything's gone well..
n now 2004.. hope this yr will be more exciting, more challenging (u bet it will), more.. should i say, bliss than depression..

Friday, January 02, 2004

woke up at 6 am today to find out that my sis's ex-classmate, Yan passed away.. inna lillah wa inna lillah hi ra ji`un..
it was kinda sad for my sis ar.. but she didnt cry. (i was the one who shed a tear or two even tho i dont know him at all)
infact, she was like indifferent to the whole sitch..
then i found out that she wasnt as close to him as the rest of her frens are..
her fren, called at 530 in the morning to tell her the news, crying.. n my sis thought it was all a joke.. a prank call or sth.. but who'd make up a joke like that? its not even funny.. so it was true.. apparently he was involved in a road accident.. u see, he worked as a delivery boy for pizza hut.. n ppl said he was delivering one in the wee hours of the morning..the accident happened near my house btw (the clearwater condo area).. there was this motorcyclist.. he knocked into a sign post. this sign post, eventually fell on the road..allahyarham Yan, was speeding n
yea, knocked into the pole.. n he went flying over.. my sis went to the funeral (there, she cried), n his mum said he only had internal bleedings.. meaning.. all his internal organs are crushed.. oh gawd.. *sighs*
my sis has only one pic of him.. he looked so young (19 btw), had a promising life.. n now..this..
oh well, when ur time comes, u'll go.. all we can do is pray for those who left us..n cherish those left behind..
cos u'll never know.. i have yet to lose a close fren..

to all of my frens.. i really cherish u guys.. before anyone of us goes, just wanna let u know that i love u guys.. n u guys will always remain in my heart..
(ok, i dont usually say this kind of stuffs.. so this is serious)